Why a blue butterfly?

Hi, my name is Ultimo and I suffer from PTSD.

In short, my body miscalculates the risk of a situation and responds like there is a threat when there is no danger at all.

Basically, when you see something dangerous, like a snake, your body reacts before your mind and goes into a state of either fight or flight, a natural response to danger. You will probably jump back before you actually realize that something is there. That experience is like a shock of adrenaline that forces your body into a state of panic. In my case, if I am out in the garden and a blue butterfly flies into my vision too suddenly, I will experience that same reaction and shock to the system. This is very painful as it puts me into a state of anxiety for the rest of the day and ruins my sleeping patterns at night.

Over the years, I have tried to learn how to deal with these situations, which I call “stuck in the mud” and “the butterfly effect”, as it does affect my day to day life as I love nature and being outdoors. Gaming has helped me through some very tough times in my life and I would just like to thank the whole gaming community in general and also the Twitch community for getting me through this time. This is a very hard subject for me to talk about and I appreciate you taking the time to listen to my story.

You can follow my gaming journey over at Twitch or come say hi in my Discord.

Kind Regards,
Ultimo